You know you are from Mumbai (Bombay) when:
1. You say "town " and expect everyone to know that*this means south towards Churchgate.
2 You speak in a dialect of Hindi called 'Bambaiya Hindi', which only Bombayites can understand.
3. Your door has more than three locks.
4. Rs 500 worth of groceries fit in one paper bag.
5. Train timings (9.27, 10.49 etc) are really important events of life.
6. You spend more time each month traveling than you spend at home.
7. You call an 8' x 10' clustered room a Hall.8. You're paying Rs 10,000 for a 1 room flat, the size of walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal."
8. You have the following sets of friend: school friends, college friends, neighborhood friends, office friends and yes, train friends, a species unique only in Bombay.
9. Cabbies and bus conductors think you are from Mars if you call the roads by their Indian name, they are more familiar with Warden Road, Peddar Road, Altamount Road.
10. Stock market quotes are the only other thing besides cricket which you follow passionately.
11. The first thing that you read in the Times of India is the "Bombay Times" supplement.
12. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
13. Hookers, beggars and the homeless are invisible.
14. You compare Bombay to New York's Manhattan instead of any other cities of India.
15. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
16. You insist on calling CST as VT, and Sahar and Santacruz airports instead of Chatrapati Shivaji International Airport.
17. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
18. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
19. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
20. You love wading through knee deep mucky water in the monsoons, and actually call it ''romantic'.
21. Only in Bombay , you would get Chinese Dosa and Jain Chicken.
22. You always argue with Delhites than Mumbai is way better than Delhi
23. You still refer to the city as Bombay not Mumbai.
24. When you love bragging about the filmstars and cricketers you've seen.
25. Every three months you look at your street and say "Why're the digging the road again?".
26. "Change" is "Chillar", "Ditching" is a "Kalti" and "Trouble" is "Jhol".
27. "Gheun Tak" is your life ideology.
28. You have been shoo'd away from Marine Drive at 3am by the cops because of an "Unlawful gathering of persons"
29. You actually pay for your rickshaws by the meter.
30. You actually think 30Rs for a Sada Dosa is pretty reasonable.
31. When u call cops ;kaka' and they let you go if you show of your marathi speaking.
32. Amitabh bachchans house is a landmark.
33. You have been to matheran or mahabaleshwar during the summer vacations.
34. You see men (not gay apparently) holding hands and walkin the street.
35. The note to coin changing machine at Churchgate station is idolized.
36. During cricket season all the roads are blocked because people in the streets are looking at television screens in display windows.
37. Automatic vending machines have a sales person sitting next to it just to help you.
38. There are more movie tickets being sold in black than at the ticket office.
39. It takes longer to get off from your house to the station than from one end of Mumbai to another by train.
40. Every cab and rickshaw driver makes small talk with you
41. You see Herd of people walking at four in the morning to Siddhi Vinayak temple.
42. ‘Bun Maska’ and ‘vada pav’ is the staple diet of most collegians.
43. HORN OK PLEASE is written on every truck, tempo and heavy motor vehicle.
44. You cant drive for more than 10 mins without abusing someone
45. "Townies" think they need a visa to go past worli to the suburbs
46. When u use the word "yaar" in almost every sentence u speak.
47. You call onion as "kandha" and potato as "batata"
48. You think of a spicy tangy snack whenever you hear the work chat .
49.You are back to work next day after the city is bombed - Truly the spirit of Bombay.
50. You call the cabbies & waiters BOSS .
51. You prefer wada pav by jumbo king anyday on comparision wid Mc donalds burger.
52. Your pricipal form of entertainment are all the aunties who scream obscenities at each other at the drop of a hat and threaten to pull the others hair/ push out of the train at 11 in the night!
53. Your idea of a full body massage is wat u get while trying to get off/ board a train at dadar!!!
54. At 3am in morning you can still get wadapav or butter pav bhaji.
55. When there's no place to breathe in the trains but there's place to play cards and sing bhajans!
56. When the traffic almost makes good friends with the person in the car next to you.
57. You know what the term "video coach" stands for in the local trains...
58. Random strangers butt in wen you are discussing cricket or politics to give their personal (unwanted) opinion.
59. You say that Pani Puri is waayy better than Gol Gappa's even when they're the same thing.
60. There is always one 'pan-waala' on the corner of street
61. You aren't surprised when somebody throws a water balloon at you while you're walking on the streets during March.
62. Seeing "Mein Kampf" being sold openly on the streets in abundance seems like a perfectly normal thing to you.
63. You consider the local train "empty" when you find a spot for your two feet to stand on.
64. When someone asks u "east" or "west" side of a particular station.
65. When "chalta hai" is the most commonly used word.
66. When you find cars on the Road even at 4 in the morning.
67. You have hung on to dear life at the local door.
68. You take the "Weight and Your Future for Rs.1 only" machines at the stations seriously. ... At least the Future bit, it always exaggerates about the weight.
69. When you think everyone who lives to the south of you is a snob and to the north of you sucks.
70. You behave like a foreigner in any other part of the country.
71. You see couples cosying up in rickshaws in almost every small lane.
72. You want to get into the train already that is already in motion & you have 5 hands taking you in..
73. When you instinctively say "pudhey challa" instead of saying agey badho or move ahead.
74. Chal, paka mat!" is an overused part of your vocabulary.
75. Crorepati, Lakhpati, Hazarpati, Chillarpati all travel in local Trains daily.
76. You treat mumbai as a country itself.
77. You drink 2 sips of tea called 'cutting' more than thrice a day.
77. When you see the dabbawallas on the station and fishwali kolis in .
78. When you call the BEST bus, BST, even though BEST is painted on every single public transport bus operational in Bombay.
79. You know 'bhai' means a guy who has no brotherly feelings.
80. Making a loud kissing noise is how you tease girls in Delhi, but making that same noise is how you hail an autorickshaw in Bombay
81. You don't differentiate between U.P. and Bihar. All you know is that's where the 'bhaiyas' come from .
82. If someone calls u "aap"-- u start laughing on their faces...
83. When your lunch is delivered hot in a tiffin at exactly 1pm from home every working day.
84. When you are stuck in traffic even at 1:30 a.m
85. You see two office-goers play a game of cards in your evening local train.
86.When ... you have argued with the TC that traveling first class after pass expires is legitimate since you havent processed the railway concession yet!
87. When you use the phrases, 'Chillum-Chili' and 'Chili-Mili' and are not talking about a spicy dish.
